Tag Archives: Humor

Radio 4 Rage

The only thing that brings me out in blotches and makes me see red on a regular basis is Radio 4 listeners in this country.

There is an unwritten and unwavering belief system amongst those that listen, usually exclusively, to Radio 4, that has bestowed upon said individuals the right of PhD status general knowledge and an air of superiority that you don’t actually find amongst the truly gifted and exceptional.

Honestly it is laughable

I didn’t realise how things were until I found myself stuck amongst said listeners for a protracted period of time and noted that every morsel of knowledge or information uttered from their lips was regurgitated, word for word, from a Radio 4 programme.

The more I noticed it the more comical it became.

The self-important numpties who rate their credentials upon their choice of listening material are right where the next propaganda-led dictator wants them. I swear you could put anything on Radio 4 and it would become acceptable… and of course be widely promoted!

Well, the disappointment has been huge for me. I thought I was surrounded by a wide variety of independent thinking conscious adults when all along they have just been a version of children following a trend and talking the talk, walking the walk, thinking their cool coz their ‘in’ and sneering at those not conforming to their limited way of thinking and being.

Please understand, I am not knocking Radio 4 itself – although I find a lot of it dull and repetitive, there is the odd enjoyable or enlightening bit… and if you want the most depressing version of the news you’ll certainly get that regular as clockwork. I do love the shipping forecast, from childhood, though.

Although there are many who stand for truth and aim for purity of fact, everything has the twist of humanity attached to it – the influences of belief, education, upbringing and the subconscious, bad eyesight, dodgy hearing, bias and fear…

There is no oracle in this world. No fully truthful news source. No infallible human being. That’s just the way it is.

Radio 4 listeners? The game is up! Add a few pinches of salt and form your own ideas from the incomplete information being fed, sometimes 2nd/3rd/4th hand, to you. It’s lovely to discuss the subjects and concepts but….

Radio 4 ain’t the Law

… and tolerating the sleep-inducing drone for protracted periods of time, without hesitation, repetition or deviation, does not make you special, superior or all-knowing. It makes you a little bit boring actually.

BBC Radio 4 - The World at One.

BBC Radio 4 – The World at One. (Photo credit: LoopZilla)

Beware the advertising hordes!

It is unclear to me why advertising is legal in public places.

Rationality

Rationality (Photo credit: Rob Meredith)

I appreciate that large revenues are generated but feel that the erosion of rational thought it induces is, comparatively, devastating….and, far more costly. I have a voice on this because I lived for a decade virtually devoid of unsolicited advertising and marketing and can categorically state that: it is playing with our minds folks. Due to the removed nature of my experience base, coupled obviously with part of a life spent in heavily bombarded urban spaces, I am able to maintain rational thought in the face of brain mashing wallet-sucking advertising gibber. I usually get as far as; “I’d love a sausage”, “you’ve never eaten meat in your life”, “Oh yeah course, I wonder what sparked…..oh!” looking at some glossy sell-fest foody catalogue. If that doesn’t convince you…

Life isn’t simple, simply coz most of us are exposed to that complete twaddle. You feel over-loaded, over-crowded and brain-addled…..because you are. I am using “you” because after four mind-muddling years, as of six months ago I am back in the land of no products and services. Whoop!

If someone was creating loads of very loud noise continuously in a public space, it would be a health risk, a public nuisance, probably illegal, “health & safety”….. big fuss: noise lowered or off completely. Due to the silent and subversive nature of massive shouty billboards, constantly changing gargantuan screens and other ghastly things of that ilk, it’s deemed perfectly acceptable. How can one really concentrate on anything sensible if one is constantly thinking about trainers and cars, deodorant, sunglasses, cars, food, shoes, food, cars……? I’m amazed most folk in the cities haven’t just descended into meltdown, tottering about bashing into things in their vain attempt to sift through all the crap in their brain to find what actually needs to be done that day. It is mind-numbing, literally.

I really do vote for advertising in public space to be removed from the ‘acceptable’ list. We can gather cash elsewhere, in fact, if our youth didn’t feel the seemingly instinctual desire to own the latest just-about-everything, and those that didn’t achieve this level of material gain, in a heartbeat, didn’t become depressed, then we’d probably free up so much cash from the NHS, police, social services and welfare that we wouldn’t need to trash our lovely towns and cities with unrealistic, misleading, grotesque and ridiculous promotional material. It’s down right cheeky.

Reclaim our brains, our shared space and our sanity! Can we? Please!

brains!

brains! (Photo credit: cloois)

Don’t won’t can’t shan’t

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I was brought up to believe that, except in admirable or exceptional circumstances, there is no such word as ‘can’t’….or ‘won’t’…..or ‘shan’t’……or ‘don’t’. Seems things have changed.

I’m starting to notice the diva behaviour, once confined to popstars, film stars and sportsmen (oh the irony), breaching the mainstream and pervading the norm. What was once deemed ridiculous in a request, refusal or expectation from the rich and famous is now regarded as standard amongst the normal folk, particularly the young.

“I don’t do……”.   I don’t do? WTF? I don’t do…. washing up, public transport, high street fashion, cooking, cleaning….caring. How cool you are. A life lived in restricted, fierce denial of experience, opportunity and betterment is surely something to aspire to. I went through a short period of not liking school P.E. – my friend and I hid in the linen cupboard. After two days of an hour or so in the closet each afternoon, so noone noticed us skiving, I realised that this was the most mindless activity I had ever been talked into. Doing is being and being is living.

“I must have…”  The ‘must-have’. We’ve all encountered it; the coveted item or experience. I had many ‘must-haves’ when I was growing up, the difference then was that my parents had an equal number of responses akin to, ‘ok, well, when you’re 18 and running your own life – sure you can buy/do that’ Even amongst the most stalwart and bolshy, patience wears thin after a few months, interests change and suddenly your life really hasn’t finished since you didn’t get the latest “…..” on a plate. In fact, with good old hindsight triumphing over advertising power and peer pressure, you realise that it’s crap anyway.

“I can’t…”. Unless this statement ends with, “..actually move mountains”, “..believe it”, or, is followed by, “….possibly…”, it is simply a lie and a copout.

“I shan’t..”…. wear this, attend that, be nice, join in, play fair, smile……live. Don’t then.

“Rate me”. Really? Vanity has now reached new lows – the uploading of a daily picture, “selfy” if you please, to be drooled and/or ridiculed over, inducing great arrogance or deep self-loathing. A whole generation seems to have wasted the majority of their precious lives, sitting in their rooms for hours on end dolling themselves up, stroking their hair, and holding a camera phone up to themselves looking in the mirror. Yawn. Didn’t we do the whole, looking in the lake and seeing our reflection for the first time, like, milennia ago?! This supports my reasoning behind the clear backward trajectory humankind is taking on the evolutionary scale, but that’s for another day.

..and, of course, my personal favourite; the accidentally released sex/naked/dirty picture/video for a bit of attention. Jeez guys, these pictures will literally be available forever. The only people who care are folk who love a bit of salacious back-slagging, and it really is a, ‘can’t go back’ scenario. No more mystery. Oh and by the way, I defer to your astounding ability to do the two things that everyone on the planet (I believe) can do too. Get naked and copulate. If we’re still revering this basic instinct, then I’m long overdue annual tribute parties to each of my digits in turn. The first theme is thumbtuous – a lavish celebration of my right thumb’s exceptional skills and in particular recognition of it’s advanced double-jointedness. Champagne all round!

I dunno, maybe I’m out of date, out of touch… a prude? Hmm, I reckon if that’s the case then prudish is definitely the new cool, and I can wholly recommend it. You see, indulging in whatever you like is fine, it’s just the expectation that everyone else will wait on you whilst you spend their money on stuff to make you look hot in order to fare well when the dodgy photo scandal breaks.

I don’t know, won’t care, can’t look and shan’t be joining in this time.

                           I reckon, if you do the dirty work your soul stays clean